Dear Lorne Michaels....

Dear Lorne,

Before I go any further, I would like to extend my most sincere congratulations for over 30 years of producing one of the most ground breaking television programs ever to hit the airwaves. No easy feat considering the huge obstacles you faced in the beginning and the fact that, let's face it, most shows just don't make it that long. You should be proud. To a point.

If my history doesn't fail me, I believe that the idea for Saturday Night (the original name of the program) was to supply an edgy, entertaining television program that would take the place of the reruns of The Tonight Show that had been running on NBC for years. The audience just was not there - they were out drinking, doing blow, having orgies, and a host of other things that were not considered dangerous or taboo in the seventies. You wanted to create a "variety" type program that had similar comedy stylings of Monty Python's Flying Circus but in front of a live studio audience much like the Carol Burnett show that was very popular on prime time - with the exception of the players cracking themselves up during a skit in order to draw cheap laughter. This show was supposed to be fresh, edgy, new, intelligent, and would also have music acts that were targeted toward the viewing audience you were seeking. The young and hip. This would not be a place for Shecky Green, Red Buttons, and the comedians of our parents generation nor would be a place for Shaun Cassidy, The Osmonds, and Barry Manilow that were tearing up the top 40 charts at the time. THIS show was going to be different!!

...and it was!

Your genius brought to us a cast of virtual unknowns that would become some of the brightest comedy minds of our time: John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, Lorraine Newman, Garrett Morris, & Jane Curtain. No one would have dreamed!! The writers wrote some of the most thought provoking, intellectually brilliant bits that both shocked us and made us piss ourselves laughing: Rosie Shuster, Anne Beatts, Alan Zweibel, Herb Sargent, and Marilyn Suzanne Miller - just to name a few. These writers pushed the envelope of decency and offensiveness to the edge of the cliff and held it the for us to laugh ourselves into oblivion. The memorable sketches: The Killer Bees, The Coneheads, Irvin Mainway, The Greek Diner, The Samurai.... Great stuff!

Granted, there were a few hard times in the eighties after the original cast took off and new crew of players walked in to fill the larger than life shoes of the Not Ready For Prime Time Players. You, yourself took off too and the high brass at NBC named Jean Doumanian the show's new producer - well, we all know how that ended up. Next Dick Ebersol came in to save the day. The show became watchable again. Some clever characters, good names, and with it being the New Wave 80's some really good musical acts as well. Then Dick got tired. Then you came back. It was a bit rough at first, but you did have some good names: Randy Quaid, Anthony Michael Hall, Robert Downey Jr. - great names, but not for SNL. Then the cast of the late 80's through the mid 90's was banner. I would say probably the best since the original: Adam Sandler, Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, Chris Farley, Chris Rock.... If I had to take a viewer's opinion poll, I would have to say that the worst time in history for SNL was the second cast under Jean Doumanian..until now.

What in the hell is going on with SNL now??? It has become the most unwatchable show in the history of television. It's horrible!! Lorne, do you even watch it anymore?? No one laughs - until that annoying Tina Fey makes a goofy grin to suck laughter out of the audience. It sucks!! I understand that Tina Fey is now the head writer of SNL. SNL...a show that was once on the cutting edge of thoughtful comedy is now being dissected by some girly twit who wrote a Lindsey Lohan movie!!! No fucking wonder it's full of pee-pee and poo-poo jokes. Lorne, It's not funny anymore!! The cast is awful. It has been for some time. I love watching the new cast do "clever" original bits that me and my fat ass buddies did in the 7th grade!!! When did this show go to such shit. Jesus, fucking Brady Bunch reruns are better than this shit! And how about that really goofy white guy who talks properly and then does a rap song...every fucking week!!! Holy shit!!! It was funny 6 years ago when me and some co-workers were doing it around the water cooler!!

This show has turned into the bad parts of the Carol Burnett show...sorry, but it's true. The material is so bad, that the cast has to break into laughter during the skits to GET laughter. It sucks....and how did this Jimmy Fallon guy get away with doing his Adam Sandler impression for so long??? Am I the only one who fucking noticed this???? And what's with the long skits?? A skit that could be funny for about 2 minutes drrraaaaagggggssssss on with endless, useless blah blah blah for some fucking reason. Are you purposely trying to get me to shoot someone?? Jesus!!!! And what's with the new guests??? Justin fucking Timberlake???? Ashley fucking Simpson??? What, are you going for the baby-sitting dollar here?? IMPORTANT POINT HERE __ ADULT COMEDY, ADULT MUSIC!!!!!

Lorne, all due respect- I know you are one powerful Jew, but it is time to end this shit. It's embarrasing. I have old tapes of Saturday Night that are 30 years old that STILL get laughs when I play them. Maybe it's just time. Maybe it's just time to end it. Maybe it's just time to clean house like Ebersol did and maybe get some funny people on the show - they ARE out there and I really believe that you can find them. Or...maybe it's time to be Johnny Carson and The Tonight Show and start showing the reruns of the old shows every Saturday Night. Really... give it a try. I bet the ratings will be better.

I have always loved this show and it breaks my friggin' heart.